#10 Canterbury Road

In which I toss in my lot with Turl Street

I hadn't heard of the Society for the Destruction of Keble, so I decided to look it up...

Most people have heard the mythical story of the Nick-A-Brick Society - a secret Oxford society whose members are some of the illustrious few to have stolen a brick from Oxford's favourite Dickensian nightmare - Keble College. Of course, causing the architectural destruction of Keble is not something that should qualify you for membership of a society, it is something that should qualify you as having good taste.

Execution: This is probably best performed at night, largely because the kind of person who thinks it's a fantastic idea to get absolutely mashed in the middle of the day is unlikely to able to negotiate his way to Keble let alone partake in a clandestine crusade for its dismantling. Once the college has been infiltrated, all that remains is to find a loose brick in one of the walls. Alternatively, use a hammer and chisel to get one out.

Crowd: None necessary, given that the proof is the brick itself. However, a crowd is likely to develop if you start chiselling the brick out of the wall. At this point you should remember two things: 1. Answer all questions with "I'm fixing the connection". No one will care enough to bother questioning you further and all will be grateful for any attempt to make the internal phone network slightly less shite. And 2. Do not wear your college scarf. This is probably sound fashion advice too, but this is a town in which people turn up in black tie to Park End, and wear rowing gear 24 hours a day, so it is likely that no one will have pointed this one out yet.

Happily, there's much more:

This week’s auction of Brasenose on eBay was not an original prank on the part of Lincoln student, Dave Green. Balliol did it first. [...]

Such inter-college rivalry is very much a part of Oxford life. The Society for the Destruction of Keble supposedly offer a drink at the Lamb and Flag for any student who can present one of the college’s dark red bricks. The darker the brick, the better the prize. Barely a week goes buy without an attempt by some rugby team to steal their nemesis’s tortoise, or an advertising board proclaiming that a certain college blows ‘that’ goat, or even a JCR President declaring his intention to “burn Catz to the ground”. New College have so far denied involvement in the recent spate of arson at nearby Wadham.

However, whilst last week’s Turl Street Dash resulted in a scuffle between Exeter and Jesus students, again the events pale into comparison with those of our predecessors. The ‘Turl Street Riots’ of 1979 made national headlines. The battle, which lead to numerous injuries and arrests began as a drunken pact against Exeter by Jesus and Lincoln students during a traditional singing contest in the Mitre Bar. Missiles of water, milk and flower [sic] and even the arrival of college authorities were unable to deter an attack on Exeter’s front gate. But as two police vans, five police cars and three fire engines, responding to alarms set off, arrived on the scene, Jesus students had managed to lever open a window into the college and were wreaking havoc within using fire extinguishers, fire crackers and smoke canisters. In the ensuing melee, several students were dragged into the college pond and a toilet was damaged.

And, most recently,

The JCRs of Exeter, Lincoln and Je­sus have united in retaliation against an article printed last week in The Oxford Student entitled “What's the point of... Turl Street Colleges”. [...]

Ollie Munn told Cherwell, “When the story appeared, reaction in Col­lege was divided. There were those in Lincoln who thought we should pick a fight and take on the Ox­Stu. And then there were those who thought we should just massacre the scoundrels, one by one.” He added, “Lincoln’s been at war with Brasenose since about 1549 – we know a thing or two about conflicts.”One of the article's main criticisms was that “someone needs to reassure Turl Street's inhabitants that the air is breathable beyond the safe confines of that cosy road.” Pull said of Exeter's perspective on the newspa­per's attack, “OxStu will regret this – we will take them down brick by brick if necessary, even if it means stepping out of the confines of Turl Street.”

One Jesus second year said in de­fence of his turf, “I love Turl Street; it’s small but perfectly formed, more than can be said about the OUSU buildings.” Munn continued, “The OxStu can bring it on. We’ll show them what Turl Street’s made of. Tar­mac, mostly.”

posted by amcorrea @ 11/12/2005 07:28:00 PM