#10 Canterbury Road

The Port Authority Rocks!

So, as you all are aware we had our little mini-reunion last weekend, and I would have posted sooner save for the grip of schoolwork I have had to make up after our fun time, thankfully uninterupted by studying. I am sure that most of us have had this experience at times, getting together again with Canterburians after months and years apart, but I was struck, and we all commented upon, the strange discovery -- nay, revelation -- that we have not been alone in finding an intensity and deep significance in both our time in Oxford and the relationships we formed there. I have to say, it was exhilirating to be with Missy, Nicole, and Andrea again, and I have not felt so alive in a very long time.

How marvelous and extraordinary it is that we are all able to connect in this way so quickly after so long without seeing one another, that we are ready to dive into the real guts of what is immediate in our hearts, and don't bother messing around with the shallow bullshit. I have a precious few friends with whom I am able to relate in that way, and I felt privileged to be with three of these people at once last weekend. It is strange that we feel not only free, but somehow compelled, to share the deeper substances of ouselves, our lives, and our thoughts with each other, with representatives of this tiny group of people with whom we shared a brief esoteric experience five years ago. How odd that we can open up so unrestrainedly with people with whom we shared so little chronological time. Truly, I realize, Oxford was a kairos moment for us all (if I can get all theological...), it was an experience that happened at just the right time, in the right place, with the right people. It was just right. We felt such an urgency to know and be known there, and that seems to come straight back each time I get together with you all. This weekend we all shared things with one another that we would never bring up with people we have daily contact with, and we all seemed to have such enraptured attention on what the others were sharing.

I wonder if we could have this sort of relationship if we saw each other all the time, if we lived in close proximity to one another. Could we maintain such a probing focus on each other if we were not addicted to the rush of reconnection? Would we reveal ourselves in such an unfettered manner if our interactions were more ordinary and everyday? Maybe not. But I like to think we would have a richer sort of bonding, no less significant for its placidity, or even (married folks, back me up) more fecund and substantial than the sporadic reconstitutions in miniature of our community.

In any case, I felt totally abandoned to the enjoyment of your company, my friends. I wanted to tell you everything, and at times my inner censor had about as much control as it would after quite a few drinks. Thanks for being good-natured about my unrestrained asinine comments... I just couldn't help being so excited to be with you. I am continually impressed and amazed when I reconnect with Oxford folks, at how creative, brave, open, and freaking brilliant you are. There is surely a good bit of idealization going on here, and I am sorry if I have exhalted you unreasonably beyond human contingency and fault, but you just completely amaze me. Even if I recognize the idolization here, there is still a sense in which your existence takes on for me a gravity of cosmic significance, as if the world could not be such that you were not, that for me you exist necessarily and essentially.

I hope to connect one day with PTS folks in this manner. But for now, life here seems a bit dull, tame against the perspective of my time with you. For all who could not attend, who wanted to but didn't make it, who live on the other side of the country, please do not feel slighted by my words here. I have little doubt that your presence would have inspired the same rush of feeling in me. I am so thankful for you all and wish I could see all of you more often. And Missy, Nicole, and Andrea: Thank you. You charged my soul and replenished my reserves, filling me with life and passion of which I had fogotten the sensation. You are amazing people, and I request that you personally end my life if I should allow so much time to pass before we meet again. 'Til we meet again (all of you)...

Cheers,
Zack

posted by Zack @ 2/19/2006 07:29:00 AM