My Summer Vacation, by Missy Small
It was remarkably refreshing to hear from you, Chelsey. Though I check your blog regularly (oh Excellent Writing One), I always feel a bit like I'm peeping. A blog entry at #10 Canterbury Road, however, makes me feel less intrusive. Besides, I had completely stopped checking this blog because I could not handle the chronic disappointment.I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that I, in contrast to Chelsey and many others of you, get a kick out of boring things like homeownership and good old stability. For example, is it a bad sign that finally buying the bookshelves we've been looking at for months and completing our living room was the highlight of my weekend? Am I in desperate need of a backpacking trip to Europe, staying in youth hostels and taking 3 am trains, to rattle me?
I have to confess that backpacking was never my style, and that I drained whatever "3 am train" blood that was in me at Oxford, so I suppose I'm just stuck being a person who likes to be settled. Not adventurous, but good for me. Besides, I seem to get plenty of the early morning traveling as it is, since Jason and I can't seem to get enough of 6 am flights to and from Boise this year. Nor can I find any sort of common, complacent weekend to get bored over. Over a six week span that we are in the middle of I will either be in Idaho or have company to entertain. My grandmother passed away two weeks ago, which called for a quick flight out, and my brother, sister, and former roommate are all getting married--in Idaho--before summer sets. Awkward first year of marriage, I think, and a very expensive one. But good, all of it. Even the hard stuff.
(I am holding out for a calm and collect fall, though. It won't happen, I know, not during this crazy phase of our lives. But I can pretend.)
Jason and I talked long last night about "maintaining," and how we get through our long workdays and worthless weeknights, exhausted beyond reason, because "this is a phase," "we won't be doing this forever," and "for now we will just maintain." It's funny, though, how if you maintain too long without realizing it you accept the bare-bones, gaunt existence you're living as normal. We realized that our crazy phase has lasted two years, that Jason considers an 11-hour workday "an improvement." It is sort of scary. And requires major shaking up. But for this summer, I think we will just continue to maintain.
As for other things, my spare room in our little Arlington condo is ready and available for any of you. We even have a pool. (I was really only dating Jason for his swimming pool, wasn't I?) I intend to be able to candlelight, bridesmaid, and read a Shakespeare sonnet at a wedding with a little less pale white gleam than I had last summer. And I am in my upteenth phase where I cannot put down books. I recently reread old L.M. Montgomery books labeled "Missy Johnson" in my sixth grade hand and couldn't put them down. Again. Life is worth living just for things like that.
One thing I am NOT doing, however, is accomplishing anything at work, as is made obvious by this long-winded post. Should probably get back to that--only 45 minutes to go for today...
P.S. It was really weird to write "Missy Small" on that. Today I called myself Missy Johnson. How long does it take, really, to get used to this?
posted by Missy Small @ 6/26/2006 09:59:00 PM
1 Comments:
Missy,
I am sorry to leave your poor entry un-commented upon for over a month. I am glad you are posting about regular life, as it deflates the impression that this is a catalogue of "interesting" things we are all doing with our lives. Because your life is interesting, it just doesn't involve a regular dose of backpacking. That, by definition, is not life in any normal or normative sense. You have been to Thailand in the lifetime of this blog, afterall, and didn't follow my Henri Nouwen tendency to write a book about every experience I have in my life. You are right to comment that "the 3 am train" days were left in Oxford. This isn't about adventure, but about the lives we actually find ourselves in. If we can only share in one another's adventures, we are not sharing in one another's lives, and that just makes things intimidating for the majority of us who aren't jetting off to India on a twice-yearly basis.
Some harder questions: Jason certainly finds his job rewarding, but is it worth the long hours? No one would call your job unimportant, but how do you find it meaningful after five-odd years at it? As someone who is still discerning his "vocation" in life, I am wondering to what extent that vision is just pie-in-the-sky. How do we negotiate the conversation between acting out of our passion and paying the bills? How does our idealism interact with "real life", and is it meant to do? How do we temper our idealism with reality without succombing to cynicism? I am no wise man, and as smart as we all may be, none of us has a corner on the meaningful existence department. I genuinely wonder about how you and Jason are experiencing this phase of your lives. What would you tell the more idealistic girl back in Oxford if you could talk to her now?
Thanks for blogging and keeping it real. Too bad we couldn't get together the past two times I was in DC, but maybe in September, yeah? Cheers, all.
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