#10 Canterbury Road

Incredible Life Changes

All-

As we progress through life change is inevitable - some by our own initiative, some by circumstance, and some that we can anticipate but never adequately prepare for in advance!

When you get engaged the question is inevitable - how did you know you were ready? And the only sufficient answer is that "you just know when you know." You plan for the day, what to wear, what to eat, where to rehearse, where to have a reception, who to invite, etc. For the most part you can anticipate what that day will be like and what your life will look like completely integrated with the one you love. Although you have not been there before you can more less project how things will be and hopefully there is a level of anticipation that accompanies all your planning!

Then the day comes - expected or unexpected - when you realize that you have created a new life with your spouse, and a tiny group of cells is growing in the secret place. You are responsible for this new life, but have very little control for the next 9 months. There is a level of anticipation but the questions are now unanswerable - is it a boy or girl, what features of mine will he/she have, what features of yours will he/she have, what names do we like, when will he/she be born, etc. You begin to view life differently, you see babies and children everywhere around you, you begin to notice other people's parenting techniques and begin to analyze how you would handle the same situation. Perhaps there is also some introspection that takes place - am I living a life worthy of parenting I have received, are there habits or activities that I need to stop or change once my child is here, are there habits or activities that I need to implement before my child is here, what do I want to teach my son/daughter that I have learned, what do I want to do differently from my parents, what am I doing to create a legacy for my family long after they are beyond immediate need of me for everyday life, and the questions keep coming yet the answers can be elusive!

The first couple of months crawl along as if the end will never come, the middle months are filled with preparation of the home, baby registration (much tougher than bridal registration...), and an ever expanding middle, the final months begin to race by as you are convinced nothing will be ready and the immediacy of parenthood fills you with self-doubt.

Finally the day you have been waiting for arrives and nothing else beyond that hospital room matters in the least! Now you are trying to actually use those breathing techniques and labor positions you learned way back when and realize that just like a final exam you should have paid more attention along the way. Finally, after a process of breathing and time almost standing still the Dr. says it is time to push. The room that had been quiet and dim is now full of life as nurse's, interns, and Dr's. gather for the actual delivery!

In my situation we did not know the gender of our baby which just lead to even more nervous excitement as the head began to crown and the intellectual reality of the past 9 months became a physical reality. The head came out along with plenty of fluids that would have normally turned my stomach inside-out, however the adrenaline the body produces at that minute is more that sufficient to overcome any squeamishness I expected! Once the head was out it was a pretty quick process for the shoulders, chest, torso, butt, and legs to come out! When I realized that "he" was a he I turned to Jamie and said "James we have a son...and I think he is pretty big." As it turns out he was 9lbs. 12oz. - Mommy cooked him well! We were expecting a point guard and got a middle linebacker!

You make a decision to love your spouse and spend your life deepening that commitment, you don't have a choice but to love your child - it is an overwhelming, immediate, and innate love that you could never explain or duplicate. When asked to try and explain it all you can say is "you just know when you know." All of those fears you have ahead of time are temporarily washed away when you hold him in your arms and just stare in wonder and amazement of the miracle you just witnessed - and it is truly a miracle!

I hope each and every one of you has the opportunity to experience this miracle in your life, I could never do it justice and you will know what I mean when it happens to you!

Mike, Jamie, & Jackson Poelzer

posted by mike_poelzer @ 10/05/2006 08:42:00 PM